Do You Measure Up?
OUR MANUAL
Welcome to the worldwide family of penis owners. We trust that you will enjoy many years of trouble free service from your penis. To help you ensure that you will, we encourage you to familiarize yourself with the following equipment descriptions, operating instructions and maintenance requirements.
Throughout this manual the words warning and caution appear. These serves as reminders to be especially careful. Failure to follow instructions could result in serious damage. When it comes to service, remember that your doctor knows your penis best and has the technical training and genuine private parts to assure your ongoing satisfaction.
BODY AND
INTERIOR SPECS
(ALL MODEL YEARS)
PENIS
|
Average length and diameter (flaccid) |
9 x 3 cm |
|
Average length and diameter (erect) |
13 x 4 cm |
|
Average percent increase in volume (flaccid to erect) |
300 % |
|
Longest medically recorded erection |
30 cm |
|
Amount of blood in erect penis |
8 to 10 times normal |
|
Average erections per night (while sleeping) |
5 |
|
Average duration of each nocturnal erection |
20 - 30 minutes |
|
Estimated replacement value |
R300 000 |
CAUTION
The following can shrink a relaxed penis by 5 cm or more : cold weather,
chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion, excitement
(non-sexual), illness
TESTICLES
|
Average length and width |
3,5 x 2,5 centimeters |
|
Average weight |
25 - 50 grams |
|
Temperature |
34,8°C |
|
Compartments within each |
400 |
SPERM
|
Average body's production |
50 000 / minute - 72 mill / day |
|
Days to maturity |
84 |
|
Number in ejaculate of an infertile man |
less than 50 million |
|
Number in ejaculate of average fertile man |
200 - 600 million |
|
Percentage of total ejaculate |
3 % |
|
Average swimming speed |
1 - 4 millimeters / minute |
|
Average lifespan once mature |
1 month in you, 1 -2 days in woman |
CAUTION
The testicles need to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature
for optimum sperm production. That's why they hang away from the body.
Hot baths and tight underwear can depress sperm count and movement.
SEMEN
|
Average volume of ejaculate |
half - 1 teaspoon |
|
Chief ingredient |
fructose (healthy ?) |
|
Kilojoules content |
21 kJ / teaspoon (fattening) |
|
Protein content |
6 mg / teaspoon (no dr Atkins) |
|
Average number of ejaculatory spurts |
3 - 10 |
|
Average interval of ejaculatory contractions |
0,8 seconds |
|
Furthest medically recorded ejaculation |
30 cm |
|
Time required for semen to turn from gel to liquid after ejaculation |
5 - 25 minutes |
CAUTION
Do not mistake as part of the Dr Atkins high protein diet.
BLADDER
|
Average capacity |
198 - 368 grams |
|
Normal flow |
198 - 226 grams / 10 seconds |
OPERATION
Before attempting to operate your privates, it is recommended that you thoroughly familiarize yourself with the location and function of all parts and controls. Basically your penis is designed to do 3 things : (in no particular order)
-
Direct the flow of urine
-
Become rigid enough to allow penetration of the vagina during sexual intercourse
-
Deposit semen within the vagina during ejaculation
To ensure a long, active life for your privates, it is recommended that you engage in frequent sex (not frequent / multiple partners however). And contrary to rumor, handling will not harm your equipment (nor the palms of your hands). In fact, it can be viewed as a practice lap for sex.
WARNING
using your privates for anything other than their intended purpose voids
all warranties, written or implied
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